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Northwood House, Greenwood Business Centre, Regent Road, Salford, M5 4QH
JOKING ASIDE

Issue: 28/02/2020

Star Turn

True adverts

Free Yorks terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
Free puppies. ½ Cocker Spaniel. ½ sneaky neighbour’s dog.
Free German Shepherd. 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
Cows, calves: Never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
V. Rothlisberger-Jones, Edlington


Any dog food?

A dog walks into a pub and says to the barman:
“Got any dog food?”
Barman says: “No.”
Dog says: “Got any dog food”
Barman says: “No.”
Dog says: “Got any dog food?”
Barman says: “No, we have no dog food.”
Dog says: “Got any dog food?”
Barman says: “No, we haven’t got any ****** dog food.”
Dog says: “Got any dog food?”
Barman says: “No, are you deaf, we haven’t got any ****** dog food, ask me again and I’ll nail your ****** nose to the bar you irritating ****** dog” 
Dog says: “Got any nails?” 
Barman says: “No.” 
Dog says: “Got any dog food?”...
P. Lydiatt, Ormskirk

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