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JOKING ASIDE

Issue: 21/06/2019

Star turn

Big Pause

A Newfie walks into a bar and says, ‘Can you fix me a gin?’,

waits for 45 seconds, then says, ‘And tonic.’

The barman asks, ‘Why the big pause?’

The Newfie looks down and says, ‘I’m a Newfie aren’t I?’

(C. Brooks, Derby)


More on judges!

Three senior judges were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the fridge and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or make a sandwhich.”
The second one chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded cheerfully, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem, knock on wood!” as he rapped his knuckles on the table, then told them “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”
(S. Beardsmore, Belper)

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