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JOKING ASIDE

Issue: 02/12/2016

Star Turn
What are they dreaming?

We've all seen our dogs' feet scampering, tail wagging, lips quivering and nose twitching when they're asleep…..here's a handy guide to what they've probably been doing in their dreams:
a. Chasing a giant rabbit through the garden only to have it run into the house and become their owner which never takes them a walk again.
b. Chasing moles down a really narrow tunnel and discovering them having a party and huge feast.  Being invited to the feast but promptly eating all the moles!
c. Running alongside a pal in the park, tripping and falling into the lake, climbing out after doing three lengths of the lake, shaking methodically over bystanders and getting a big round of applause.
d. Meeting a particularly attractive member of the opposite sex but realising too late their personal hygiene doesn't come up to standard. 
e. Doing a tap dance (on a tap which is made of doggy chocolate) then eating it.
And the worst dream of all………….
e. Tucking into a big bowl of a favourite food only to have the bowl rear up on legs and run down the road, ending up in the garden of a particularly hated dog who scoffs the lot!
(F. Peters, Minehead)

Dear Santa, please put in my stocking:
Xmas pudding shaped squeaky toy (won't take me long to get to that squeeker!)
One of those electric ball jettison thingies (owner is a bit lazy)
Nice new furry blanket (mine's a bit chewed)
New bed to go with the blanket (of course)
Giant rawhide chew in the shape of a bone (rabbit flavour)
New brush (soft bristle - not one of those spiky ones)
New bowl (I've shared mine far too long with the cat!)
Cuddly toys (many)
and of course…………
LOTS and LOTS of bags of treats! 
Thank you, xxx from Rover
(J. Long, Glasgow)

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