YOU COULDN’T make it up… TV chiefs have decided to commission a new X-Factor-type show which will star ... dogs.

Pets will compete to be crowned as Britain's most talented mutt in a seven-part Channel 4 series hosted by Lisa Tarbuck.

According to the PR blurb from makers RDF media, it is not a posh Crufts-style competition. It's open for "mastermind mongrels" to be put through their paces in freestyle doggy dancing and an all-important obstacle course. Even IQ will be tested.

The mutts will compete in regional heats, which they must win to secure a place in the final.
RDF Media –the production company behind Wife Swap - hope for insights into the bizarre world of some owners. In other words, it’s another one of those shows that will portray dog owners as mentally challenged, a source of cheap laughs. Then again, let’s face it – why do we all watch ‘Wife Swap’? It’s so we can have a feeling of superiority over the participants.

Anyway, I’ll reserve judgement on the Rex Factor (that’s if I bother to watch it at all), but if that’s the level of television programme that makers are after these days, I’ve got a MUCH better proposition for a show involving dogs and their owners… get this… It’s Me Or Strictly Come Heelwork To Music Fever Camp Factor Idol On Ice.

Then of course we can have I’m A Celebrity It’s Me Or Strictly Come Heelwork To Music Fever Camp Factor Idol On Ice.

TV Execs out there take note; I’m open to offers.

I’m telling you, it’s a winner!