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JOKING ASIDE

Issue: 05/04/2019

Star turn

Reasons to buy a puppy!

The following are just a few of the strange, not to mention alarming, reasons people gave for wanting to buy one of my Afghan Hound puppies 1998:

Elderly woman: wanted a playmate for her 12 year old arthritic, bad tempered, though toothless, Chihuahua.

Long distance truck driver: wanted driving companion.

When asked how he intended to exercise this energetic hound, replied that he would let him run around the lorry parks at Motorway service stations whilst he was eating his breakfast!

Emotionally disturbed young woman: husband was about to leave her for another woman but had always wanted an Afghan Hound, so she wanted to buy him one on the condition that he stayed with her.

Finally the woman who made me laugh so much on the phone, that she finally hung up in disgust.

She said she had been in dogs for years and wanted an excellent specimen for showing. So the most important thing she needed to know was, and I quote, "...will the puppy be KFC registered"!

Anyone for chicken?

(K. Quin, Nantwich)


Ringo the errant Cocker Spaniel!

After previous escapades we decided to take him down by the river, but keep him on a running lead. 
He, of course, decided he'd pay us back and headed straight for a fisherman, only to dip his head and ears straight into the maggot bucket and promptly devour a few dozen of the wiggly beasts!!
Me, absolutely horrified, dragged him away and he promptly shook his lovely Spaniel ears and sent maggots flying all over my clothes. 
I was, of course, busily screaming and trying to flick all the beasties off when Ringo decided that wasn't enough of an assault on the fisherman and …promptly stuck his head in the next bowl and got a mouthful of the man's lunch - roast chicken I believe.
Needless to say, he hadn't done much for the Cocker Spaniel's reputation that day!
(J. Douglas, Spalding)

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