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JOKING ASIDE

Issue: 03/09/2021

Star Turn
Venue in a flutter?

Some months ago it became necessary for us to find a bigger venue for our forthcoming Breed Club Open Show.
We did locate a venue in the required locality and the Club Secretary and myself went along to give it the once over.
Whilst waiting for the Booking Secretary to put in an appearance, as he was busy in a committee meeting, another member of staff related a story about a previous booking request they’d had from another club.
Apparently the Booking Secretary had suggested they turn down the request because, and I quote: - “They would be fluttering all over the place and would get loose and lose control.”
She had replied, “What, such small dogs as Beagles!  Besides, they would be on leads or in cages most of the time.”
To which he replied – “Oh, Beagles, that’s quite alright then.  At first I thought you said EAGLES!”
I hope their show went well.
(D. Ledward, Oldham)

Sleepless nights

A couple has a dog that snores.  Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.  The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles and he will stop snoring.  “Yeah, right!” she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual.  The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.  Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog’s testicles.  Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.
The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies.  He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him.
So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband’s testicles.  Amazingly it also works on him!  The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over.  He stumbles into the bathroom.  As he stands in front of the toilet he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.  He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog’s testicles.
He shakes his head, looks at the dog and says, “Boy, I don’t remember where we were or what we did, but we got first and second place!”
(K. Welsch, Koblenz)

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